and then I skipped a maths class today
and then my laptop was broken
and then I lost ten bucks
and then henry said he won't be available on sunday
and then my plan was screwed
and then joyce's not coming

and now I can't answer the questions correctly

for the other things, I could ignore them
even though the school work was easy
the taste of bad luck cannot be good
still, try to stay strong

seriously, the bad luck has been embracing me for awhile already
but still, "it's cool. it's cool." I told myself.

why? because she is coming on friday!
all the bad feelings were gone!

I did not feel bad when I fell down from the bike
I did not feel bad when my laptop was broken
I did not feel bad when I cannot celebrate Henry's birthday

but now, yes, I'm really pissed

I expected, so desperately, to see her!
well, it sounds like I'm not sophisticated at all but,
it is not so good when the a strong mental support fell while all the shitty things dashing toward me.

I was struggling, should I still ask her to come?

Her reasons for not coming were:
1) Is spending those money coming worthy? cuz she has been spending much already
2) She has too much school work to do

Still, she told me, it's fine for her to come.

I wanted to tell her to come, and tell her everything will be alright.
but right before I click the enter button, I deleted the sentence.
then I told her not to come.

I was still struggling.
Should I?

And then a question appeared in my head.
"Do I really love her?"
Yes! Of course.
"So, which one is more important? My happiness, or her not-so-painful-ness?"
(add -ness to make it into a noun.)
Her not-so-painful-ness.
"Anymore complain?"
No...

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There is a saying

If you give a kid a candy,
he will be very happy.

But if you take the candy you gave him away from him,
he will cry.

If you didn't give him the candy,
then he will have nothing to cry for.

So what can I say?...

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hope you can really treasure this weekend la...
do your best and study as hard as you can...
cuz, yes, I'm suffering because of it...
and seriously, I'm really depressed now...
I feel the pain...